Times when every second family was having many children, have very long time ago passed. And today it seems to us, that three children it already is a lot of.  Someone is engaged in career, someone lives happily, and someone simply is afraid to go on this serious step, and as a result of the woman give birth to all later and ever less. Why so occurs? One child in a family is a normal phenomenon for our time or a disturbing sign? How many children should be in a family? What it is better for a family and for children? Whether there is an unequivocal answer to this question? These questions excite not only sociologists, psychologists, but also users and visitors of ours of "School of parents».
Shalunishka wrote (): I here last time for this theme think. At all of us - native, friends in a family of children two. All as usually - the first right after the weddings, the second-when all устаканилось. One child-is bad, potentially lonely person, two-in all respects well. At all children two, I will repeat, and who has grown in a family with 3-4 children? On what it is similar? Whether the parental attention has sufficed all? Or it is better to double-treble protection frames from undesirable pregnancy. And suddenly we on an old age of years nevertheless will want - what be the third the child of parents "aged"? From the point of view of sociologists and other experts, dealing with demographic problems - that the nation did not die out, in a family should be three children - one instead of mum, the second instead of the daddy and the third - as population increase. But it from the point of view of the state and how it is better for a family? Let's consider features of the families which are bringing up different quantity of children. Family without children Such variant of a family meets today much more often, than earlier. Sometimes, of course, it can be connected with problems of health at someone from spouses, but, as a rule, if it is the unique reason the married couple finds a way to get the child, whether it be adoption, artificial fertilisation or other medical ways. However, there are also situations when such state of affairs suits spouses and they meaningly decide not to have children. Well it, or is bad for them - difficult to tell. However, it is unequivocal for the child better if people (which do not wish to have children) do not do it from false shame or of aspiration to be as all. Family with one child It is the most widespread for today a family variant, especially in the big cities. Newsya wrote (): I in a family the only child. Problems did not feel, the egoist has not grown... But for itself has solved ONLY 2 children! As a rule, the parents meaningly supporting such family structure, say that this decision depends exclusively on the material reasons. And actually it is a lot of them: it and possibility to give to the child a separate room in parental apartment, and as a whole to solve a room question in the future, it and possibility to pay formation of the child. It is necessary to be considered with all as these "but", it really important also, however, is not less important the child grows in what psychological conditions. And the only child in a family is, as a rule, the child on whom parental expectations are imposed too many, from it much demand, it in much train, it too correctly bring up. And adults on it one, as a rule, it is necessary much - after all very often and for grandmothers-grandfathers it the unique grandson. It, certainly, is not always bad also to such child a lot of attention is given, it receives quite good intellectual start because with it it is a lot of and actively are engaged. Savin mum wrote (): Хм... At me the father the only child in a family... It at all the egoist though from it it could turn out, "conditions" to it had (children who were born after it, all died in infancy)... At mum in a family was 5-ro children... Us at parents two... While one suffices me... Most likely and remains... But what from it wait in exchange? He should study best, should enter the institute... It should, should, should. And he sometimes too needs to stay simply the child, and not to study to read, easier to play in machines, and to play and there is nobody, as it is not interesting to adults. Here he also starts to ask mum about «to the little sister or the brother». And from the material point of view - whether so will seriously worsen position of a family occurrence of the second child? As a rule, real deterioration of a situation is possible during those moments when someone from children goes to school or enters the institute. In all other cases, anyhow, at certain diligence of parents, it is possible to resolve this situation without damage to the senior child. If in a family two children Such variant of a family too meets often enough. As a rule, parents dare at the second child proceeding from a widespread stereotype - «in a family should be two children - the boy and the girl». A situation when in a family two children is a little more favorable for the senior child, and moreover, it is very frequent children realise it, especially, if the second child appears in a family when they already have more than 5 years. Freak wrote (): on mine two it is optimum. Behind three - четырьми it is necessary to leaving also cares much... To someone of attention will be нехватать in an any way... Plus a financial question... I think more than 2 children difficultly to support, at least to the usual person with the modest salary In such situation children along with feeling of jealousy, can feel simplification as from them the part of expectations and persuasive attention of adults acts in film. The minus of this situation consists that probably enough rigid fastening of roles "younger", "senior" which remains and at adult age, influencing on specificity of construction of relations in the subsequent, including on construction of matrimonial relations. Besides, very often there is a situation when two children in a family are divided on "mum's" and "daddy's", that also should impose on them of a certain print, and should cause additional complexities in relations between children. Certainly, these warps in education can be avoided, and in this case the family with two children is more favorable for their mental development. If in a family of three children Occurrence of the third child in a family softens the possible minuses peculiar to families with two children more often, therefore from the point of view of development of children families, in which three and more children are most safe. Katya wrote (): it is exact not one!!! I want a two, is final if the financial side allows! And sister at me speaks that will give birth not less than three (many children want), speaks on how many health will suffice!!! However, in this situation on the foreground there are often absolutely other questions. Whether the family can provide due level of their formation and a life? After all in a life of children there is not only clothes and meal on which in most cases money suffices, but also formation, additional employment and hobbies (sometimes not cheap), a cultural life (cinema, theatres). Though anything if to remember all these difficulties that children - blessing Божие. Варенька wrote (): it is difficult To me to answer this question us at mum with the daddy 8, and any ущербности we did not feel, (at least so it it seems to me), loved all of us on - to a miscellaneous, but all loved, at my husband too in a family of 8 children, I not undertake to confirm that we will overtake parents but why that will seems to me that children at us more than 3 it is exact! So all the same that is better? On this question, as well as on many other things the questions, families concerning planning, no, also there can not be an unequivocal answer - at all different conditions of the life, the different relation to children, the various own children's experience, different representations about a family. So, that think, solve - one or three. And if you already became parents or only gather, we invite you to register in ours «School of parents» and to share the invaluable experience.
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