In some magazines and newspapers of times of my childhood there was an amusing heading «children» and «Lips of the baby» Speak. I do not know, whether there is it now, but modern children continue to speak at all less, than their predecessors. To speak things ridiculous and interesting which always you listen and you read with pleasure. After all all of us once were there – in the Childhood country.  Where the Grandfather the Frost in the summer hides
In church during all service Glory attentively looked at the father, and then when the service has ended also all left on street, asks mum Oli:
- Mum, and the father is that, the Grandfather the Frost? He here from a heat hides in the summer?
Whom we were till a birth
- I want on wedding someone's, - speaks 3-year-old Ириша.
- Well, I do not know, - mum Galja answers. – There is nobody at us to marry. All married: and your brother Женька married, and sister Nastja in marriage left …
- Where I was, when all of them married? – With astonishment asks Ириша.
- You then still caviar were, - 5-year-old brother Grisha answers.
What for the ladybird flies
Mum with 3-year-old Masha have come from walk. Masha sits on a chair and with impatience waits, when mum will make a supper. Suddenly through a window leaf the ladybird flies and sits down on a window sill. Masha sits down it on ладошку and sentences:
- Ladybird! Fly on the sky, bring to us breads and колбаски …
To consider I am able!
In the morning, gathering in a garden, 3-year-old Гришенька is capricious:
- Has bothered in a garden. I do not wish to go there. I will go to school with brother Sashej.
- Гриша, but you after all are not able neither to read, nor to write. Here you will learn – then you will go to school. For now it is possible for you only in a garden, - his mother Lena persuades.
- Here a lie! – is indignant Гриша. – the Grandmother says, that I to consider a raven I am able.
With itself did not take
Mum Lera and grandmother Irina Vjacheslavovna recollect, how they many years back when Лера was in 2nd class, went in Sochi by the sea.
3-year-old Коленька long and attentively listened, as there it was good and cheerful, and has then started to cry:
- U-u-u you what. Have gone, and me on the sea did not take … Have thrown here, in a city …
For whom mum married
Mum Katya with 4-year-old Димой go on the central department store. Pass by department for a newly-married couple.
- Mum, - give we to you here this beautiful white dress we will buy, - offers Дима.
- That you, Димочка, - speak mum. Is a dress for women who in marriage leave.
- Well and you will leave, do not worry, - speaks Дима.
- Димочка, - so I after all already married. It is More to me in marriage it is not necessary.
- Yes? – With astonishment asks Дима. – And for whom you in marriage left so, what I did not know?
- Yes for your daddy also left, - mum Katya answers.
- Oh, it is good, that you for the daddy left, instead of for дядьку any unfamiliar, - having calmed down, speaks Дима.
Men very much like
4-year-old Оля plays with mum in a court yard. Has suddenly stopped and attentively looks at the boy – the neighbour in an entrance 5-year-old Лёшку.
- What, Olenek, Лёша it is pleasant to you? – Mum the Dyne asks.
- Aha, it is pleasant, – answers Оля. – in general men very much like Me.
What for the mobile phone is necessary
- Mummy, - asks 5-year-old Vladik, - buy to me, please, a mobile phone.
- What for it to you, Vladik? – Mum Tanja asks.
- It is very necessary, - Vladik answers.
- Nevertheless? What for to you a mobile phone?
- Here you and Irina Stanislavovna abuse me, that I in a garden badly eat.
- Yes, we abuse.
- Because she never knows it, that to us to allow to eat. – and so I will call it by a mobile phone, I will tell, that a cutlet gave. Here I also will well eat.
China in village
5-year-old Vitalik has a rest in village at the grandmother in the summer. On days off it have brought home to a city. Aunt Zoe has on a visit come.
- Vitalik! In village at the grandmother it is pleasant to you? – Aunt Zoe asks.
- It is pleasant.
- And there at you many children come?
- It is a lot of. The whole China!
The mobile phone has liked
Uncle Sasha and 4-year-old nephew Tima watch TV. Suddenly there is an advertising of new model of a mobile phone. Тима delightfully looks at phone:
- Ух you! – he speaks the Sachet. – this mobile phone is pleasant to you? – He asks the uncle.
- It is pleasant, of course, - uncle Sasha answers.
- And you such … would steal?
Than the cleaning powder smells
Mum Rita by means of cleaners washes a bowl, a gas cooker. Павлик with the daddy come from street. Павлик screws up the face and speaks:
- Faugh, microfight of any dirty smells.
What is the violin
Maxim has seen a violin on the TV and asks from mum Svety:
- Mum, buy to me a spoke and a guitar …
Has deserved trust
Костю have just resulted from a garden. He speaks to mum to Tana:
- Mum, and friends in a garden trust me.
- Who trusts you?
- Well, here Лёша trusts.
- What he such trusts you? – Mum Tanja asks.
- Bad word.
The male
4-year-old Rum talks to the grandmother.
- The grandmother the Sleepyhead, give birth, please, to the baby that to me was with whom to play. And that all is no time parents and there is no time...
- Ромочка, I cannot already give birth to anybody, - the grandmother the Sleepyhead answers.
- And I know, why cannot, - have suddenly lighted up to Rum. - I the program on the TV looked. You the male!
In a toilet on a path
Before leaving on walk teacher Marja Eduardovna speaks to 3-year-old Cyril:
- Cyril, we will long walk. Therefore you descend in a toilet on a path.
Cyril leaves. For it long wait, and, not having waited, the teacher comes back behind it.
Cyril costs in a corridor, in perplexity looks between two carpet paths and asks:
- Марья Эдуардовна, you after all have not told, on what path to me to descend in a toilet – on yellow or on dark blue...
The cock is guilty
The glory spends summer at the grandmother in village. After walk in the street the Glory complains to grandmother Galina:
- The grandmother, an ear after street is ill me.
- Why it is ill you? – The grandmother asks.
- To me the cock in an ear has shouted.
How the toy works?
Daddy Evgenie has presented on Birthday to son Kohl of a beautiful plush hare. Колька has begun to shine for pleasure, has gently embraced a soft toy and speaks:
- Thanks, the daddy. And how it works?.
How many lives remain
The daddy with 6-year-old son Stasom watch on TV the insurgent. One of heroes kill in fight.
- Everything, have killed him, the sonny.
- How, have killed? – Asks Стас. – some more lives should remain With it … Let use.
Where to put the brother
Parents said Тиме, that children find in books in library. When mum, the daddy, big brother Dima and Тима have gone to children's library, Тима has approached to mum and speaks:
- Mummy, Дима always so offends me. Give we will leave it in library. It at us and so long veins. Start up it now somebody another will take away …
Marina Tumovskaja,
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